Relationships: Not Meant To Make Sense
February 22, 2011 § Leave a comment
Guest Post by Michael Orion Powell
I reflect a lot on relationships and the topic takes up substantial space in my book on Asperger’s syndrome, which is slated for upcoming publication. For a significant amount of time, I’ve been living with the label of Asperger’s – a disorder in which social faux pas and rules are obliviously ignored without the knowledge of the one ignoring them. It’s hell and I wish my brain were wired differently, even if it didn’t mean the raw talent as a wordsmith that it has granted me in the process.
The last girl that I dated was during the summer of last year. Her name was Christina. I won’t say her last name because she doesn’t deserve the negative attention. I really suspect her of being bipolar, as the situations that I ended up in with her were so over the top and flashing from one emotion to the next that I wasn’t quite sure which “Christina” I was talking to.
Example one: we have an argument while out in San Francisco. She declares pretty adamantly that she doesn’t want to see me again. I feel like shit, as one should appropriately feel after that sort of rejection. I try to keep it budgeted and regulated to the bottom of my emotions however, since those sort of feelings are so standard when dating that one seems at an advantage to be cold and unemotional.
After planning my trip back to the East Bay, where I lived at the time, I get a call from Christina. She wants to know where I am. I tell her where I am and she grabs my hand, walks me to a bar and proceeds to start making out with me. What in the fuck? Everyone I have relayed this to has replied the same way. What made it even more bizarre was that she later denied that anything romantic had ever kindled between us. I guess the whole episode of making out in a public area wasn’t romantic in her world. Seeing as similar episodes have occurred wherein girls have denied anything romantic when they clearly had acted that way, I’ve come to the conclusion that this is fairly standard. I’m not quite sure how things become official and clear enough to cement the commitment of marriage, but I assume that mostly happens with older people or in religious communities.
There’s a quote by sociologist Robert Nisbet where he says that while relationships still occur, they now occur at the level in which they are completely incomprehensible. He wrote that in 1950, when things were a whole lot more conservative than they are now, so we can be safe in assuming (if we first agree with Nisbet’s thesis) that relationships make absolutely no sense whatsoever.
Michael Orion Powell is a professional author based in the Western United States. He has been recently featured at Little Green Footballs and Talking Points Memo. His work can be found at mopowell.blogspot.com